Self-Love Isn’t Selfish: How to Show Yourself More Love
Valentine’s Day is all about love—whether that means celebrating with a partner, sharing appreciation for friends and family, or simply enjoying the day in your own way. But no matter how you celebrate or who you share love with, there’s one person who also deserves your kindness and care: you.
Too often, we pour our energy into showing love to others while neglecting ourselves. We give compliments, offer support, and extend patience to our loved ones but are quick to criticize ourselves. If that sounds familiar, consider this your reminder: self-love isn’t selfish. In fact, the more love and kindness you show yourself, the more you have to share with others.
If you struggle with self-love or aren’t sure where to start, here are some simple but powerful ways to show yourself the same love you so freely give to others.
1. Speak to Yourself with Kindness
Think about how you talk to a close friend when they’re struggling. You probably offer encouragement, understanding, and support. Now, compare that to how you speak to yourself. If your inner voice is overly critical, it’s time to change the conversation.
Practice replacing self-criticism with self-compassion. Instead of “I’m so bad at this,” try “I’m learning, and that’s okay.” Instead of “I should have done better,” say, “I did my best with what I had.” The words we tell ourselves matter, so choose to be your own biggest cheerleader.
2. Prioritize What Makes You Feel Good
When life gets busy, it’s easy to put your own needs last. But just like you make time for loved ones, you also deserve time for yourself. Ask yourself: What makes me feel happy, relaxed, or energized?
Maybe it’s reading a book, taking a walk, listening to your favorite music, or setting aside a few minutes for a hobby you love. Whatever it is, make it a priority—not just on special occasions, but as a regular part of your life.
3. Set Boundaries Without Guilt
Loving yourself means protecting your energy. If you constantly say “yes” to things that drain you, you’ll have little left for what truly matters. It’s okay to decline invitations, step away from negativity, or take a break when you need one.
Setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. If you struggle with this, remind yourself: Saying no to what doesn’t serve me means saying yes to my well-being.
4. Treat Yourself Like Someone You Love
You wouldn’t expect a loved one to be perfect or work nonstop without rest. You wouldn’t want them to overthink every mistake or deny themselves happiness. So why hold yourself to impossible standards?
Self-love means giving yourself the same grace, care, and forgiveness that you extend to others. Take breaks when you’re tired. Celebrate your small wins. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of love—not because of what you accomplish, but simply because you are.
5. Practice Gratitude for Yourself
Gratitude isn’t just for what’s around you—it’s also for who you are. Take a moment to appreciate yourself, just as you are today. What are some qualities you love about yourself? What challenges have you overcome? What’s something kind you did recently?
A great way to nurture self-love is to write down three things you appreciate about yourself every day. Over time, this simple habit can shift your mindset from self-criticism to self-acceptance.
Love Yourself, Today and Every Day
Valentine’s Day is a beautiful reminder to express love—but that love should always include yourself. By practicing self-kindness, prioritizing your well-being, and embracing who you are, you’re not just improving your own happiness—you’re also setting an example for others to do the same.
So this Valentine’s Day, whether you’re celebrating with others or spending time solo, take a moment to check in with yourself.
How can you show yourself a little extra love today?
Happiness Posts is published by Darin M. Klemchuk founder of Klemchuk PLLC, an intellectual property law firm located in Dallas, Texas and co-founder of Engage Workspace for Lawyers, a coworking space for lawyers. He also publishes the Ideate (law) and Elevate (law firm culture) blogs. You can find more information about his law practice at his firm bio and also at his BioSite.
